Things have been good for a bit.
I still have snaps, and get these flashes of really low times.
They are fading, but at least its something.
For years I've been switched off, going through life just numb.
It's destroyed my life, and hurt the people I love the most.
I'm getting help, but things are moving really slowly.
I lost and hurt my best friend.
The only person I ever felt truly loved by.
I was too blind to see what was wrong,
and fooled myself into thinking everything was alright.
That I was alright, that I wasn't a failure.
I don't want to be a burden, I need to be positive.
But sometimes its almost more than I can take.
I just need to know that I mattered.
that I meant something.
Thats all.
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